Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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