ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
