Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
