so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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