tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
