Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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