I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
