at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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