One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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