i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
