let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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