I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
