You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was like eating out sand paper
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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