She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
