I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
