I skipped work to stalk him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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