And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
