Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
