Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Oh god it's open bar.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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