I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
