i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize