My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
