i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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