so that wasnt chicken after all
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
