from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She even gives head with a lisp.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
