That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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