Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
