Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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