make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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