I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
