I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Someone shit on the floor
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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