I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
