Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
