Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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