i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
