I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
