A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
