the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
