I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have already put on my inside pants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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