I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize