im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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