You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My cat gives me a boner
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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