Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
