btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She even gives head with a lisp.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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