Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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