what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
