We won't sleep together?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
