Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
