I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
