And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
