hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
