Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
