did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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