I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
