There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
