Dual....:-)
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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