exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize