Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
