Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
