just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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