So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
