Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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