Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
