ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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