You made me cry and you don't even care
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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