I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
